This is hard!

So, made it to the track this morning. Week 2 so far is very hard for me, if it isn't easier by Saturday when I go again, I will most likely repeat the week. I would rather repeat a week, then to burn out and stop. I also think I should start using the elliptical on my off days from the track. I wouldn't push myself too hard, but I think it would be good to just get on for 30-40 minutes... with the pace of a fast walk.

My eating is a bit off right now, I'm just so tired throughout the day, that I am not eating at normal times. I actually crashed on the couch for a few hours this afternoon when we got home. I'm not sure why I was so tired, but I could barely function. Hopefully I get some of my energy back soon.

Something seems to be working!

Well, I haven't exercised this week... just not there yet, and it's hard to get into things with Hubby gone. But, I have really watched what I eat, and it has payed off! I am down to 183lbs!!! All I have really done is try to cut down on certain snacks, and drink more water and tea. It makes me feel good to realize that I am doing something right, and gives me more motivation to keep going.

Only 48lbs more to go!!!

A little background

I don't know why I am finding it so hard to get back into a good routine of exercise, and eating well???? I know it's not easy, but I don't remember it ever being quite this hard... it's usually keeping it going for any real length of time that I have problems with.

Today, though, I am doing well eating wise! Even though I am hungry right now, I am resisting, as well as drinking water instead.

Okay... enough about excuses, here's some reasons and explanations of what I want. History first.

Until I got married 12 years ago, I never had a weight problem. In fact, for a long time I would say that I was underweight! During high school, and until I was around 21, I weighed around 110lbs... which is not much when you are 5'5". I danced (Ballet, Jazz, Tap) from age 6, until I was 16, typically 6 nights a week. This is one reason I was so thin, always moving, and not much time for food. When I stopped dancing, it was a few years before I started to gain weight.

By the time I was around 21, I was probably around 125lbs, which was a wonderful weight for me. I was confident, happy, and healthy. I met my Hubby when I was 22, and married him 4 months later. I believe I was around 130-135lbs when we tied the knot. It was not hubby's fault that I gained weight, but just circumstances. I really did not know him well at the time, and had moved 2000kms away from my friends and family to be with him!!! I was living way up North, it was very, very cold, I didn't really know my new husband, didn't have a job yet, and found solace in snacking and watching TV.

Within 6 months I had put on around 20lbs, and over the next 7 years I managed to add another 30lbs. Then of course we had our 3 children within 3.5 years. Obviously this didn't help matters, in some ways made it worse... I gained between 50 and 60lbs with each pregnancy, which of course has left me with stretch marked skin that I don't always feel comfortable in.

Now for where I want to be....

I would be ecstatic to be at 135lbs again, it was a wonderful weight for me, not heavy or light, with just the right curves. I want to be there before the end of the year... so I need to lose 50lbs over the next 11 months, a fairly attainable goal.

The following is my biggest obstacles.

• I find that my children exhaust me by the end of the day.
• It isn't always easy to eat properly when I also have to feed three kids, clean up after them, and keep the house clean, especially when hubby is away.
• It doesn't help matters when Hubby buys snack food for himself, especially things that I like.
  

My Reasons for losing this weight.

• I want to have the energy, and ability to keep up with my 3 boys.
• We plan to move to the Mediterranean, and I don't want to feel self conscious in a bathing suit.
• I want to wear clothes in a single digit size!

Some of my excuses seem pretty lame when I type them out like this!!! With Hubby gone these next few weeks, I will concentrate more on my eating than exercise. When he comes back I will have more energy to work on exercise... right now it is all I can do to get through each day with the boys.